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Writer's picturewendymaekirk

Finding Peace


A young black woman, with closely cropped hair, looking serene, and having the palms of her hands together, finger tips touching her chin.

I’m away visiting friends in an idyllic place, with lovely weather, in February, when it’s cold and windy and snowy back home. I was sort of hoping that would be over when I got home, but the weather is forecasted to be pretty much of the same. It seems to me that I shouldn’t be dreaming about things that I’m very conflicted about, and stressing about those things on waking.

I think we have a sense of entitlement about being able to sleep peacefully, and being well rested in the morning, not being stiff or sore, and not having to deal with other issues. Struggling is something that we avoid like the plague these days. We want everything easy and fast.

Unfortunately or fortunately, that’s not how peace comes. Peace takes time and effort, and takes a certain amount of struggling through the issues, to a place of acceptance. Even coming to a place of quiet takes time and effort. This is becoming more and more of an issue as our world becomes more and more frenetic. Trying to empty our minds, and focus, allowing thoughts to flow through, and not holding onto them is difficult. Just being present in the space, and being quiet, without distractions feels almost impossible. I remember taking a few days and going away to a camp that was empty at the time, and having to come home because I couldn’t deal with the quiet and isolation – and I’m an introvert.

I have built up a resistance to having constant sound in my life. Sometimes having noise in the background helps me focus. I have pets that will not sleep through the night without the tv on to mask other noises in the house. I prefer the tv low to the intermittent barking. Finding quiet is a challenge for me. I listen to books while I drive. I listen to tv or books while I work. I talk on the phone while I do routine things, and in all of this, I lose my sense of peace and acceptance.

The demands of life, raising two children by myself, and working full-time plus, and taking care of the home, and trying to do everything myself pushed the times of peace away. I need to find a spot to prioritize that.

I have a client who finds her peace in running, and she runs a lot. I find some peace sitting outside, next to the backyard fountain, when the weather is lovely. I find peace taking time apart to be in a quiet place. I find peace sitting in the chapel at St Thomas Anglican Church on Huron Street, or Trinity College Chapel. I also find it in trance.

We need to build time in our lives to seek peace – to look for the places of quiet, and slowing down, so that we can keep in touch with ourselves, and with our spiritual centre. We need these places of peace so that we can soar.

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